my rhapsody

my rhapsody

Saturday, April 16, 2011

When would 'Farihan' get its meaning back..

Each night seems so long,
Water dripping from the tank,
Whirring of the fan beneath me,
The darkness falls into the room,
it does nothing to scare me,
to intoxicate me
into a deep sleep..

everything comes back to me,
memories, stories, places, faces,
one after another,
it all comes back..
i cried..
i was once a happy child..
the memories..
they are all drugs,
addictive, intoxicating,
i always need them,
almost every night,
for there is no happiness
in daylight.

‘Farihan’ is no longer whispered
in my ears,
the soft soothing sound was so dear
to me ..
it was like a prayer to me..
so i could become happy
as what my name once gave me.

but why am i like this??
why can’t i be more like
other people...
why can’t i smile an honest smile..
why can’t i be happy again..
why can’t i see people
the way they ought to be seen..
why must i be different,
what have i done to deserve this..

Farihan.. cheerful as it means
remains so irony to me..
Nurul Farihan..the light of happiness..
Why can’t i give happiness to others
for it is sorrow that i’m cursed with..
when will i be sober..
when will i see the light again..
oh God.. help me go through this life..
cause i am nearly giving in.

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